I have a wonderful 6 year old. He is smart, fun, well mannered, polite, sweet natured and sincere. He has absolutely NO attention span though. As an example. Curt calls me at work dropping F-bombs left and right because once AGAIN Dominic forgot his book bag He had to go home and get it for him. Personally I would have told Dominic too bad, no book bag today but Curt is entitled to handle it how he wants to... But this morning when we were asking him to get dressed he played with the cat, got a drink, rolled around on the floor... He did everything BUT put his clothes on. Finally he looks at us watching him and says, "Oh! I forgot" and went on to slowly get dressed. He at times forgets he is eating dinner. He would forget his head if it wasn't attached! It is so frustrating. I began to notice attention span issues a few months ago when we realized he wasn't learning his alphabet the way he should. We were able to help him by blocking out the world around him and forcing him to focus on the letters only. Suddenly he was able to learn his alphabet. It's SO frustrating!!!!
Now I know he does not have ADD. I am very well versed on ADD and honestly I think it is a term that is too loosely thrown around these days. Children are being medicated when they actually just need some extra attention or a different approach. It is very hard to diagnose a 6 year with that condition anyway unless it it blatant and obvious.
He isn't autistic either. That is a fact too. Again this is something I am well versed on and he shows no signs of Autism.
He is simply a very intelligent young boy that's world is moving fast. He tries to take it all in at once. He notices everything and wants to be a part of everything. He demonstrates very healthy skills for a 6 year and is advanced in some areas such as math skills... I don't mean to be that mom, but he is advanced and gifted in some areas...
Basically my point to all of this is I am looking for suggestions to foster his brightness with out breaking his spirit. I am a patient person when it comes to him and I firmly believe in letting him experience the world, but even I am getting to my last nerve. I have no more ideas.
Lzeisloft - I'd be happy to give some insight based on being a parent and also being a school counselor. I have experience with many types of children experiencing similar issues. Of course every child is unique in his or her own way. Know first off that 6 years old means he is full of so much raw energy and brain development that it is at times like trying to navigate durring a hurricane. Some of the obvious I am sure you know but just in case for a reminder- routine is key, less choices not more, sticking to the same timetable for eating, sleep, excercise helps a lot. Having parents who use similar parenting stratagies. Two great resources for parents are:
LeAnn~
I raised 3 boys...They each can be a challenge in thier own way!
I agree about the ADD thing being tossed out there too much.
When my boys were little, those terms just didn't exist! I think everyone has their own personalities and their own struggles....
But for someone to put a "dx" on kids today is uncalled for and a big "sign of the times"
I say patience and understanding help to let their little personalities form.
They also 'know' what buttons to push on us as parents...They seem to know what they can get away with and what they can't....
I see the Men my little boys have turned into...They are each very caring big hearted responsible adults now...I am so proud of each of them!
I think back, and they were all so different as little boys...No one put any kind of a label or dx. in their younger years..
Unless something is just really obvious, just be the best Mommy you can be and he will be fine!
I hope this is helpful. Also, I missed noticing if he has diabetes?
No. No diabetes. He is healthy as a horse. Haven't even been to the doc with him for illness in 2 years. Only immunizations. He's well proportioned eats healthy (Prefers it too)
He really is the epitome of a good kid. Just lacks in the atention span area.
Phil, Yes. We have a routine. I incorporated that in to his life ever since he was an infant. I have gotten plenty of snide looks from other parents and even our own parents buck, but the rules never change and the routine stays the same no matter what. I think we are one of the few consistent families left out there. (Compared to what I see in his peers anyway)
I would say he is just a normal 6 year old. My nephew Connor, the same age, is just like that. Does everything but what he was asked to do, like getting ready for school, or cleaning his room. And he is a smart boy, gets all "E"'s on his report cards. E=excellent, highest grade for elementary school
I would say he is just a normal 6 year old. My nephew Connor, the same age, is just like that. Does everything but what he was asked to do, like getting ready for school, or cleaning his room. And he is a smart boy, gets all "E"'s on his report cards. E=excellent, highest grade for elementary school
It's not quite normal anymore Kris. I have a feeling we are dealing with other issues... Not quite sure what nor do I plan to jump to conclusions but it's on the cusp of not "normal" anymore.
I haven't pitched in here because it's been so long since my baby was a little one, and frankly, I'm the type who forgets the hard parts and remembers the good stuff. (Mostly.) But my morning get-ready-for-school issue was that he liked his bath so much he would just lay back and doze. It was really funny the time he really fell asleep and flooded the bathroom. LOL!
I'm eagerly watching this thread though. Parenting is so, oh, just plain hard! Any tips I read will be stowed in my memory banks for access when said grown-up baby starts giving me grand kids. (He's 30, married for a year and a half. I'm running out of patience! LOL)
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~~~~Becky
~ ~ ~ "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." ~ ~ ~ Anais Ain
I also have an easily distracted son. He's 5 years old and has some learning difficulties so the school have come up with some ways to help keep him aware of what he should be doing.
The teachers have taken a lot of photos of him doing things and when he is supposed to be doing something they put the appropriate photo on his timetable board so if he gets distracted he just has to look at the board to see what he should be doing.
When he needs to take something to school a list (or pictures) on the front door could remind him what he needs. Getting him to be responsible for getting together what he needs (with you unobtrusively checking) might be good as most kids like a challenge and it'll help his organisational skills.
When my son can't settle to work in school he likes to go for a walk around the school and visit other teachers he likes. They let him do this for 5 minutes as when he gets back to the classroom he then settles down to work much better. So if you can't get your son to concentrate maybe kicking a ball round the back garden for 5 minutes would let him work off some excess energy and help him to concentrate.
There has been some discussion among educational specialists that for some little boys starting formal education under the age of 6 or 7 might be a waste of time as they are so full of energy and so easily distracted that they cannot easily conform to a classroom situation. (Girls seem to settle much more easily).
Some of the things my son's teachers do might help but don't worry too much as he sounds just like a lot of little boys I've met. If you're very worried, does your son's school have a teacher who's in charge of the kids with problems? - he/she might be able to assess your son and see if she thinks he has a real problem or he's just being a standard 6 year old boy.
My 5 year old son has the same characteristics. He is a smart boy and can concentrate on things for a long time if he wants to. We have trouble getting him to follow through with routine daily things like getting dressed. His teachers have noticed the same problems at school with routine things like putting away his lunch. He has had had trouble learning some things. It is almost like he decides he can't learn somthing, and until he is convinced otherwise he won't learn it. He isn't hyperactive, but he does seem to do better when there is some physical activity involved. I would be interested in any techniques people could suggest.
I know it's frustrating when your son can't seem to do routine things but boys are often bad at these things - I'm still trying to get my 13 year old to remember to take his lunch bag out of his school bag at the end of the day. Most boys will be house trained by the time they are 25 but no guarantees!
The school learning is more of a worry but I've found a good thing to do is work out what interests him - the things he will concentrate on - and use them to help him learn. For example challenge a child that likes to play ball to catch a ball as many times as he can so he then has to count. I taught my eldest child to count backwards by playing "launch a rocket". My youngest loves computers so I've found lots of fun games that have helped him a lot.
While little girls can settle easily to school routines little boys can find it difficult and will only find it possible to concentrate if the teacher manages to catch their interest. Five is a very young age for boys to cope with the behaviour expected in school and some countries don't even try at this age. All you can do is try and make learning fun and engage his interest.
