What's Your Parenting Style?

I grew up in a loveless home. We had food on the table and clothes on our backs and that is where it ended. Abuse comes in many different forms and sometimes verbal can hurt more than physical. But this made me a strong person. I knew I didn't want my kids raised like that and they weren't.

I volunteered for Juvenile Court for 13 years advocating for abused, neglected and dependent children. I saw a lot during that time and cried a lot too. It starts at home folks and if the kids don't get it at home they won't get it any where else. It is not up to our teachers, it's up to us. Know where your kids are at and who they're with. Don't bargin with them, don't argue with them, your the adult and they're the child. Teach them the important things in life and how to survive. Put a smile on their face and love them till they grunt! Don't let them have to go someplace else to feel loved, it will only be the wrong place, believe me!

Kids don't come out with a book in their little hands saying this is how it's done. We've all made mistakes but the best part about a mistake is learning from it and not repeating it the second time.

Ginny

I loved on my kid so good! And a whole bunch of other kids too. Had two "spare" 17 yo boys living with me one year. (When my son was 17, of course.)
I met one kid's dad once ~ but he never came to the house.
The other kid (my favorite, don't tell anybody), well, I met his mom at his wedding after, what, 10 years? I was polite. It wasn't easy, but I was. Wanted to slap her. I love that "kid" so much!
I would come home from work and there would be anywhere up to a dozen kids or more, "counter-culture" kids! Punk rocker types! sitting in my clean living room watching tv, my dishes were done, I even got my gutters cleaned and my carpet shampooed without asking. And no, I didn't allow any tobacco, drug, or alcohol use. It went on, but not around me. I can still hear that happy choir of "HI MOM! HI MOM!" when I would come through the door. Definitely a beautiful bunch of kids.
They're all married, productive, awesome young men and women now, all around 30. Of course I still call them "my kids."

__________________
~~~~Becky

~ ~ ~ "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
~ ~ ~ Anais Ain

I would have to say that my folks were assertive-democratic most of the time but were authoritarian in my early years (up until maybe 10 - 12). Once I started to really grasp the consequences of my actions this authoritarian approach was abandoned.

I lean heavily towards the assertive-democratic, especially with the "cool-off" or time out period (though sometimes I just want to knock some sense into my kids). I usually don't have to reprimand my 2 kids, they are great kids.

My daughter lives with her mother in another country so I don't get to see her much, but I call her at least 3 times a week and catch up on what is going on. I will usually talk to her mother first and if she has been acting up I talk to her about it. When I find out she has done something good I praise her for it. She has always been a good kid, always listened to her mother and me, I have often wondered if the reason she never really raises any hell is because her mother and I are divorced and she lives so far away from me. i actually wouldn't mind if she did go nuts every once in a while, she needs to be a kid.

My son is 2 years and some change, and I have never seen a more loving and respectful toddler. He has the curiosity of a toddler but knows what is a bad idea and what is a good idea. The only thing I need to get on him about is climbing on the coffee table. He even tells the kids at daycare that they shouldn't hit because it isn't nice (there is a 3 year old there that is bigger than him but not stronger, she is a bit of an instigator and likes to tease my son. Right now he keeps his composure, tells her that she shouldn't hit him as it isn't nice, but one of these days he is going to reach his limit and knock her on her butt and I don't know whether I should praise him for sticking up for himself or reprimand him for hitting. Guess I have to wait and see)

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Accept the challenges, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory.
- General George S. Patton

Hi Jason. You might want to remind the little fella to tell a grownup first. But I wouldn't punish him as long as he doesn't go too far overboard.
When my son was about 10 he and his best friend found out another neighborhood kid had "pantsed" a girl my son "liked." Josh (my son) and David were really pissed of course. But as a single mom, and a girl myself, I didn't know what to do. I called a man I really respected, and he told me not to stop any street justice that may occur. Well, nothing happened because the offender wouldn't come out of his house for about two weeks. I hope he learned his lesson. That kid was trouble. He had one of those moms who knew her kid could do nothing wrong, and anybody suggested that he may have misbehaved it was sure to bring on her wrath.
BTW, Josh is 30 now, and one of the most peaceful, non-confrontational men I've ever met.

__________________
~~~~Becky

~ ~ ~ "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
~ ~ ~ Anais Ain

Not sure which catogory we are in

If my son does something wrong he gets a warning do that again and such and such will happen

We did take time to think out what such and such would be. For a while I would ask my son what punishment do you think you should have and he came up with some good ideas but he soon caught on and said things like 'make me eat two chocolate bars' lol

I made sure the threats were not futile and carried them out faithfully when required

But always assured him of our love soon after somehow